Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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