Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
