sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize