i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
either way he was missing a nipple.
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eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
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OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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