hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
