you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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