I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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