So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
