is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
