I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
