you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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