I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
