please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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