So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
