THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
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I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
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Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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