i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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