Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
