How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
