My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
