they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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