Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
