I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
why do cheetos always look like penises
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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