It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
