remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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