Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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