Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
