You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
