You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize