I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
