We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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