Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just want nice things and good sex
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
