Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
