I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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