Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize