We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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