My pussy is not your playground.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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