driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
