physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
