Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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