If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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