im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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