pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize