you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
