I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
