i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize