wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
