i think my tv is drunk
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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