Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Mom said you looked used
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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