Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
