he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
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Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize