You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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