Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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