We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I would fuck him just for his dog
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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