STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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