I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
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Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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