So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize