i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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