My cat gives me a boner
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
