I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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