Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
